A Silver Lining in Tragedy

I am so stressed and hormone surges means a few mild attacks. Found out I cannot tolerate bathroom silicone glue, so got a respirator mask. Had a few things called migraine aura without pain from it--this causes paralysis of my limbs, eyelid flutters, then complete loss of consciousness with muscle spasms. No breathing in whatever that chemical is, at all.

I almost burst into tears because one of my books was corrupted and I lost 10,000 words, which is a LOT of a document. It wasn't just that I lost that section, it's that the way it was written brought tears to my eyes and it was so poignant. The stress caused a mild attack but I managed to keep it under control without a hospital visit. I was panicking and ready to give up. I wanted to shut my computer and ignore it for a week.

I sat there having a meltdown, then started saying, "It's okay, it's okay, you can do this. Just think."

Well, I am glad I am an autistic, even if it makes me unable to handle social situations, because I turned on my writing music and sat there "downloading" those scenes and changes from my brain. I recovered 95% of that document out of my memory, so I'm content. The other part was something I was going to change, anyway. I immediately saved the file on my external and have developed a 2 file system of saving and backing up the document so that no matter which one gets corrupted, it has an identical twin right next to it that's not connected, so it will be there, always. This is why I used to be adamant about paper and pen! I still have papers from my old paper-using days, and I'm seriously contemplating going back to it, or at least printing my work regularly. If I print off every page I complete, I will never lose it.

So, what started off as a horrible day ended well because I kicked myself in the butt and did something equal to file recovery of a computer hard drive. I also learned that music-memory stimulation works really well.